Dear Hollywood, Please Stop Strip Mining My Childhood

First they came for Transformers and I didn’t speak up, because it looked pretty cool.

Then they came for G.I. Joe and I didn’t speak up, and they turned it into confusing summer fluff.

Then they came for the A-Team and I didn’t speak up, because I’ve thought for years it would make a great movie (this doesn’t look like it though).

Then they remade the ultimate ’80s movie–that beloved Ralph Macchio classic–into a star vehicle for Will Smith’s kid, and I had to speak up, because it was just wrong:

If we ever get word of a Back to the Future remake starring that Twilight guy, somebody’s getting hurt.

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